Today started out like any other day; except I was due in town for a 12:50 date at the Mammography center. Arriving at the Mammography center I signed in and waited. As I sat down to wait for the Technologist who would do my Mammogram I watched as two Mexican women filled out some forms and in the back sat a gentleman with a little girl, probably waiting for the female in the family.
Finally, my turn came as one of the workers announced "Ms. Garcia". Getting up I wondered if anyone saw anything different about me or the name and a very well dressed woman in jeans, high heels and a leather jacket left the room.
Getting undressed, I put on the requisite blue kimono exam jacket with the opening toward the front and waited in another waiting room with two other women. Inside the room, one could see that I was all female with my boobs sitting behind a cloth jacket with nothing to hold them up. Finally the Technologist came in, introduced herself and I followed her into the Mammogram room.
After asking me what type of hormones I was on, she asked if I had saline or silicone implants and if they were behind the muscle. Reaffirming that I had saline implants and they were behind the muscle, the Technologist began to take my pictures. The girl was very nice and she asked me a lot of questions, mostly about being a Transgendred woman after surgery. During my exam I briefed her on the many aspects I found about being a woman, namely having a yearly Mammogram and the fact that I had an OB exam two months ago.
Standing by the machine, the girl moved each of my breasts into the machine and took an individual picture of each breast in their different positions. What was interesting is that there was none of the horror stories of having your breasts clamped down by some maniac Technologist who derived watching the women writhing in pain. It was a very peaceful experience and soon it was over.
So after getting dressed, I walked out of the Mammography center preparing for next years test....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
So this is what an affair does
Why do I feel lousy over something that will never happen and will take a few months for me to get over. I had the chance to have someone F- - k my brains out and I did the stupidest thing. I went and told someone who knew this person, but didn't realize that the same email she has is being shared by his wife.DUMB, DUMB,DUMB. Now it off to Damage Control for my male friend and I'm off to the dumps in my emotions and how I'm relating to folks at this time.
Yes I'm married and have been for the last 34 years, and like all marriages mine was kind of barren; but I decided to find out what it meant to be a woman by going all the way with this person. Yes he knows about my background and was quite willing, but as we all know he has a loved one that he doesn't want to lose, but not married. Me I'm married, so we both knew going into this short lived affair that after that weekend we'd go and drop whatever we had and resume our own private lives, hundreds of miles apart.
I can see a thought going through your minds as you're reading this. And its probably why did you enter into this arrangement? Well the reason is very simple and basic to every human being here on this planet. Its "SEX", plain and simple. Sex with a man as a new woman after surgery.
Now if you haven't gotten the message from looking at my profile or my picture. I used to be male and for the last 57 years I have been a male; but through modern science and surgery, I have now transitioned from male to being female. I'm not going to bore you with all of the details; but in short I'm what they call a "Chemically enhanced female with after-market parts", or the general term.... I"m a Post-Surgical Male to Female Transsexual". Kind of makes you want to run for cover doesn't it.
But back to my story, why the affair? Well I do know what to do as a male with a female partner, and for the bulk of our mariage, sex with my wife was pretty good, then my transitioning and the sex became infrequent and finally it stopped al together. So for 20 years, this kid was kind of barren. Cutting to 2008, after a few years on hormones, Breas Augmentation an finally SRS or Sexual Reassignment Surgery, I had a vagina installed and I now have indoor plumbing.
So why the need for an affair? Well to tell you the truth, as a new female on the block; "I don't know how my new body parts are going to work? and also can I function as a real life female if I had to or can I turn my thinking 180 degrees and think of myself as a new female having sex with a man? After those long 57 years, I finally had the chance to find out and this guy was going to be my meal ticket into finding out.
We both knew and agreed to a weekend at a conference in the Sacramento area. But like all things planned, a small slipup to a friend caused this person to now rethink his position. So the letter. My ultimatum was simple. Either choose me during the conference or just walk and never find out if I would have made a great sexual partner. Simple and to the point.
Writing that letter was easy, since being a Filipina woman who felt she was wronged and made out to be the villain by some folks suddenly blossomed into me turning into a demanding woman who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Loose Lips do sink ships
I found out that the old World War II term "Lose Lips sink Ships" or in my case "Do" sink ships is not a totally worthless saying. It really applies, and now I'm feeling quite lonely and sad, that my actions have dashed my chance for a short romance.
In my haste to talk to friends about being with someone I wanted to have a relationship with, even for a few hours; my stupidity caused this person irreparable harm in his relationship with a loved one. I never for once thought a casual slip or a phrase would have such a profound effect on how I now currently feel.
Now I will never have that chance to find out what love with a man is like. Since I used to be a male before my transition one year ago, any sex in my younger days was your typical five minutes of ecstasy and then over in a flash. Now as a woman I have that need to be secure with someone. I wanted to have this person to hold me and to validate my urges as a woman.
Because of my stupidity and eagerness to share even if it was changing a few facts, my weekend with this person is now gone and I will probably never broach my feelings to another male, let alone someone who's friends share emails with their spouses.
Is it fair? NO, and even though I am currently married to a wonderful person for the last 34 years, I wanted to experience another side to my sexuality. But now, I am having these pangs of sadness, coupled with thoughts of unease and a sadness that what would have been my chance is now gone forever.
Will I ever go and try my luck again, maybe not. Will I ever broach my feelings to others, probably not. Will I ever have these sexual feelings towards another man? YES.
In my haste to talk to friends about being with someone I wanted to have a relationship with, even for a few hours; my stupidity caused this person irreparable harm in his relationship with a loved one. I never for once thought a casual slip or a phrase would have such a profound effect on how I now currently feel.
Now I will never have that chance to find out what love with a man is like. Since I used to be a male before my transition one year ago, any sex in my younger days was your typical five minutes of ecstasy and then over in a flash. Now as a woman I have that need to be secure with someone. I wanted to have this person to hold me and to validate my urges as a woman.
Because of my stupidity and eagerness to share even if it was changing a few facts, my weekend with this person is now gone and I will probably never broach my feelings to another male, let alone someone who's friends share emails with their spouses.
Is it fair? NO, and even though I am currently married to a wonderful person for the last 34 years, I wanted to experience another side to my sexuality. But now, I am having these pangs of sadness, coupled with thoughts of unease and a sadness that what would have been my chance is now gone forever.
Will I ever go and try my luck again, maybe not. Will I ever broach my feelings to others, probably not. Will I ever have these sexual feelings towards another man? YES.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Things my mother never told me
How many of us can truly say that we know everything about anything and that also includes SEX. My first 40 years as a male I thought I knew the basics, but now as a woman I find that I really have now knowledge of what to do. Since I used to be at the other end of the gun, my experience was kissing, fondling then the actual closeness and finally....
So it was when I got married. We produced three great sons who are now grown and married. Sex for us was your typical get together lie in bed and perform the act, which usually lasted for me a few minutes Little did I know that we'd soon get tired and move on years later. In fact, my sex life became like any other American/Asian couple. Very dismal to say the least. But we survived and soon the companionhip, intimacy but not the act was our way of having sex.
Now I find myself on the other side of the gun, for now I am the recipient. Since I now have the necessary plumbing and body parts of a woman. I can't get pregnant, have a period or menstrual cycle, life as a woman isn't too bad; but I can like any female or male, pick up a few strange diseases if one is not protected. So in that case, whether we transition or not, having protection applies to all of us.
Nevertheless, after my surgery since 2008, that thought has been nagging at the back of my mind. JUST how do I act as a woman if placed or find myself in a compromising position with a man? So I have asked many folks including my therapist. They all came up with good answers, but none were specific. So I did what any smart person would do. I went on the web and found a site that gave me the information I needed.
A lot of the information had to do with things women do to a man, such as "Oral Sex", how to pleasure yourself, disease to avoid and how to protect yourself. But the one thing that caught my eye were the 100 or more sexual positions. You know, I didn't know there were over 100 variations on intercourse and each one had a description on what it is and the results it provides. There were also comments from the readers on each of these positions and I must say that I"ve really been in the dark ages when it came to sex.
So why did I bring this up? Well in a few months I get to find out what it is like to have sex with a man and right now I'm really nervous about this. How do you do a 180 degree turn from trying to run the show to actually letting someone show you what to do? How do you start?, etc. There are so many questions and quite frankly, as a woman I just don't know what I'll do. But we'll let nature take its course.
I've tried to keep this from becoming an all too consuming idea and decided to let the story unfold.by itself. Who knows, maybe I'll find that I too don't know everything about anything.
But then, isn't that what men and women in a special relationship have done throughout recorded history, gone and experimented?
So it was when I got married. We produced three great sons who are now grown and married. Sex for us was your typical get together lie in bed and perform the act, which usually lasted for me a few minutes Little did I know that we'd soon get tired and move on years later. In fact, my sex life became like any other American/Asian couple. Very dismal to say the least. But we survived and soon the companionhip, intimacy but not the act was our way of having sex.
Now I find myself on the other side of the gun, for now I am the recipient. Since I now have the necessary plumbing and body parts of a woman. I can't get pregnant, have a period or menstrual cycle, life as a woman isn't too bad; but I can like any female or male, pick up a few strange diseases if one is not protected. So in that case, whether we transition or not, having protection applies to all of us.
Nevertheless, after my surgery since 2008, that thought has been nagging at the back of my mind. JUST how do I act as a woman if placed or find myself in a compromising position with a man? So I have asked many folks including my therapist. They all came up with good answers, but none were specific. So I did what any smart person would do. I went on the web and found a site that gave me the information I needed.
A lot of the information had to do with things women do to a man, such as "Oral Sex", how to pleasure yourself, disease to avoid and how to protect yourself. But the one thing that caught my eye were the 100 or more sexual positions. You know, I didn't know there were over 100 variations on intercourse and each one had a description on what it is and the results it provides. There were also comments from the readers on each of these positions and I must say that I"ve really been in the dark ages when it came to sex.
So why did I bring this up? Well in a few months I get to find out what it is like to have sex with a man and right now I'm really nervous about this. How do you do a 180 degree turn from trying to run the show to actually letting someone show you what to do? How do you start?, etc. There are so many questions and quite frankly, as a woman I just don't know what I'll do. But we'll let nature take its course.
I've tried to keep this from becoming an all too consuming idea and decided to let the story unfold.by itself. Who knows, maybe I'll find that I too don't know everything about anything.
But then, isn't that what men and women in a special relationship have done throughout recorded history, gone and experimented?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A new wrinkle
It was a warm Saturday in Monterey and there were about 10 of us in group session with our therapist. Half of us were F2M's and the other were M2F's. As we sat across from each other talking about our lives and what would be in store for us in the future our therapist told us something that has continued to haunt me until a few weeks ago.
Now this is back in 2004 and a lot has happened in the intervening five years. As I sat there a partially made female very comfortable in dressing and being out as a woman, but still having a male responsibility on my work days, I thought about the comment our therapist told to all of us.
What he said was this. "As you continue to grow and live in the opposite gender, you will find that your core values on how you see yourself will change". For me as a former heterosexual male, meant that would I be seeking a Gay relationship with a man? And this comment raised a few eyebrows among the crowd.
Going forward five years, it is now early February 2009. My body has changed, I am about 11 months post-op and have gone through my own transitioning from male to a woman and generally I consider myself as a woman, not as a Transgendered or a Transsexual, but a "Post-Menopausal" female.
Getting up in the morning, dressing in front of the mirror it is not hard to see a definite change at my smaller female waistline, breast that are proportioned for my body and my new vagina. I now understand the implications on what it means to be physically female; but then there is that feeling that I am not complete, that even though I have a stable marriage and love my wife, I am missing out and probably will never know "what" it truely means to have a relationship with a man.
It isn't a thought anymore; but a statement. Will I go through life as a completed woman and never enjoy the feel of a man as he makes love to me, for now it is yes. But then strange things are now coming into play.
I now find myself being on two different female hormones and in November and at work I started to have a very small sexual fantasy that is originated by a bed. I am starting to feel a bit hot, but dismiss this as working very hard or the heat on our floor is up too high. Which brings a bit of laughter from my supervisor who is a Registered Nurse tell me that I am having hot flashes.
But this one ongoing fantasy of having sex with a 30-55 y/o version of that 90 year old resident in that bed gives me pause. It is the only apartment in the entire floor of 31 apartments that I have trouble with. This fantasy only last for a few moments, but in this fantasy I find my clothes being ripped off my body and my undergarments being pulled off as this younger male penetrates me.
I don't know why this is happening or why I am having this one particular fantasy, but in December at our yearly group Christmas party, I am telling my therapist this and he started laughing by telling me that these feelings and ideas are what normal women have, normal sexual fantasies and also he tells me "Cameron You're horny". So the fantasy subsides, but is still there.
With that in mind, it is now early February 2009 and feeling that I need to see old friends at an upcoming Transgender conference I call a few friends that are going to see if I can stay in their room while attending the conference. I'm thinking that I would be going to a few seminars, participating in the few shopping excursions, dressing with the other girls, meeting new friends, then go home to my family.
But what I did not expect was another email from another friend who will be attending the conference, but coming up a day earlier to set up his booth at the conference. What started out as a normal email by him telling me that he would love to have dinner with me and to talk about old times, became in 72 hours a torrent of emails that went from PG to X-rated.
We started talking about sex and suddenly I now find myself in the enviable position of possibly having sex with a man an sleeping with him in his bed for two nights.
Now I am in a quandry, I now find that this sudden unexpected present has now changed my views on my personal core values. Since I am now female and not a male the thought of possibly enjoying sex with a man is something that I want to pursue.
And that prophetic warning to us has now become reality. What our therapist had also told us is that this is not about GAY sex, but a coming full-circle in our genders to see if we as in my case a woman can have a relationship with a man.
I think now, that as I grow into my new life as a woman, that this thought is now someting that is important and I want to feel that touch from a man and to have that man love me as a woman.
Now this is back in 2004 and a lot has happened in the intervening five years. As I sat there a partially made female very comfortable in dressing and being out as a woman, but still having a male responsibility on my work days, I thought about the comment our therapist told to all of us.
What he said was this. "As you continue to grow and live in the opposite gender, you will find that your core values on how you see yourself will change". For me as a former heterosexual male, meant that would I be seeking a Gay relationship with a man? And this comment raised a few eyebrows among the crowd.
Going forward five years, it is now early February 2009. My body has changed, I am about 11 months post-op and have gone through my own transitioning from male to a woman and generally I consider myself as a woman, not as a Transgendered or a Transsexual, but a "Post-Menopausal" female.
Getting up in the morning, dressing in front of the mirror it is not hard to see a definite change at my smaller female waistline, breast that are proportioned for my body and my new vagina. I now understand the implications on what it means to be physically female; but then there is that feeling that I am not complete, that even though I have a stable marriage and love my wife, I am missing out and probably will never know "what" it truely means to have a relationship with a man.
It isn't a thought anymore; but a statement. Will I go through life as a completed woman and never enjoy the feel of a man as he makes love to me, for now it is yes. But then strange things are now coming into play.
I now find myself being on two different female hormones and in November and at work I started to have a very small sexual fantasy that is originated by a bed. I am starting to feel a bit hot, but dismiss this as working very hard or the heat on our floor is up too high. Which brings a bit of laughter from my supervisor who is a Registered Nurse tell me that I am having hot flashes.
But this one ongoing fantasy of having sex with a 30-55 y/o version of that 90 year old resident in that bed gives me pause. It is the only apartment in the entire floor of 31 apartments that I have trouble with. This fantasy only last for a few moments, but in this fantasy I find my clothes being ripped off my body and my undergarments being pulled off as this younger male penetrates me.
I don't know why this is happening or why I am having this one particular fantasy, but in December at our yearly group Christmas party, I am telling my therapist this and he started laughing by telling me that these feelings and ideas are what normal women have, normal sexual fantasies and also he tells me "Cameron You're horny". So the fantasy subsides, but is still there.
With that in mind, it is now early February 2009 and feeling that I need to see old friends at an upcoming Transgender conference I call a few friends that are going to see if I can stay in their room while attending the conference. I'm thinking that I would be going to a few seminars, participating in the few shopping excursions, dressing with the other girls, meeting new friends, then go home to my family.
But what I did not expect was another email from another friend who will be attending the conference, but coming up a day earlier to set up his booth at the conference. What started out as a normal email by him telling me that he would love to have dinner with me and to talk about old times, became in 72 hours a torrent of emails that went from PG to X-rated.
We started talking about sex and suddenly I now find myself in the enviable position of possibly having sex with a man an sleeping with him in his bed for two nights.
Now I am in a quandry, I now find that this sudden unexpected present has now changed my views on my personal core values. Since I am now female and not a male the thought of possibly enjoying sex with a man is something that I want to pursue.
And that prophetic warning to us has now become reality. What our therapist had also told us is that this is not about GAY sex, but a coming full-circle in our genders to see if we as in my case a woman can have a relationship with a man.
I think now, that as I grow into my new life as a woman, that this thought is now someting that is important and I want to feel that touch from a man and to have that man love me as a woman.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Its been a long four years
It is now 2009 and a lot has changed snce I last posted my blog on September 2005. Our household has weathered many issues and is now looking forward to what new changes will bring to us.
Well to start off; I finally started my transitioning as a woman by having Breast Augmentation surgery in March 2006. What started out as an idea, then after a lot of talking and dweling on how my life would be changed forever, we decided that it was time. So after consulting many Plastic surgeons I decided on having my implants performed in Los Gatos, Ca. My implants were twin 720cc Saline sub-pectoral implants, meaning they were surgically inserted under the pectoral muscles on the chest and were inserted through both nipples.
If you think Madonna and her Ice Cream breast cups were interesting, you should try having real implants inserted. After my surgery, I saw that I had two very large bumps on my chest and after the bandages were removed a week later, I had semi-hard breasts on my chest. Not to mention that the post-op phase was a pain in the ass, but eventually as life unfolded my breasts started to mold and look like regular breasts. After about six months, the breasts were very pliable and now two years after my surgery, they are now as normal looking as genetic breasts.
So now what are the differences between mine and regular women? Well for one thing, since I stand as a tall woman and older in years, my breasts were placed a bit lower than many younger women and the size was determined by my physical body. So If you're interested in sizing (males), I am a 42-34-40 or a 42C. Big, but very proportinoed.
After my surgery, life continued to unfold. I started to work outside the house and in a retail environment. I was hired by one of the biggest Box stores (Wal Mart) as a woman and did not find any problems, in fact I kind of blended into the crowd, then I lost my job when I was told I couldn't apply for another position while I was on sick-leave for another little issue with my body.
So for almost a year I was unemployed; but one good thing, I had a Government Pension coming in that helped us out. Meager as it could be, at least I had a monthly check coming in and I had "HEALTH" Insurance, which many people do not have and to this day, it is one of the biggest issues facing us.
As the years went by, another issue came up and that was the final journey I would be taking. We had talked about this and frankly I was not too sure if this was a good idea. I was generally pretty happy with my life, but my wife of 34 years pointed out that there was something missing from my personality. Even though it seemed I was very happy and let me tell you, that being out as a Transgendered individual is one of the best feelings, it wasn't enough. So after thinking of the final solution which would be Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS), we had put off talking about it and decided to let this issue rest.
Another year went by and sometimes I'd talk about this with my wife and we'd look at reasons for why my being partially constructed was fine; but there was that feeling that all was not right. So, in 2007 I happened to attend a conference of Police Officers who were also Transgendered at another conference in San Jose, which is the yearly California Dreamin (CaD) 2007 Transgendered Conference.
After talking to the other women who had gone through this surgery, I finally decided t hat this was what was missing from my life. After returning home I discussed this with my wife and we decided that this is the road I must travel. This road is not easy to travel, it entails a lot more counseling, finding a surgeon either here or abroad (Thailand) and many small but necessary steps. One thing that helped is my therapist was also a Gender Specialist and Sex Therapist and who had seen me grow into this new woman through the years.
Since my life as a partially constructed female was very stable, I had a job, retired, family, I didn't have to go thorugh the regular "RLT" or Real Life Testing needed. I already fulfilled many of those pre-requsites. So I finally decided on going to Thailand for my surgery, which also included Femal Feminization Surgery or FFS.
To make a long story short, I finally had my life-altering and permanent surgery on my birthday in Thailand with Dr. Kamol. On March 10th, 2008 at 11:30pm (Bangkok time), I came out as a finished product. All of my plumbing was changed and a few facial procedures were also performed. So I stayed in Thailand for the required 30 days and on April 5th, 2008 I returned back to the States a fully functioning woman.
During this time from 2007 till 2008, we also had a major crisis at home. My wife rebroke her Hip Replacement and could not work, we suffered a few crisis requiring us to spend more funds than we had anticipated, we also had to deal with botf of our mothers being assigned to a Residential Care home. But with all of this, I finally returned back home and the changes were very different.
My family could now detect a happier person and one that was complete. I also went thorugh the usual depression associated with SRS, but pulled through. We managed from April 2008 till 2009 to muddle through financial difficulty and two divorces (sons). But our family is still whole. We are currently married and now waiting for our two divorced sons to remarry.
I am now thinking of returning back to Thailand to have performed two more surgeries; one is a major revision of my face and a minor surgical repair to my vaginal area. These two surgeries will now enable me to look much more feminine than I am and the other is a surgical repair or revision to rebuild the bottom part. Since there was not enough tissue to work with, my surgeon told me that if I returned back within six to twelve months, I could have a better looking and aesthetically vagina.
I am now thinking seriously about this and even though we have an economic crisis on hand, these two items are not far behind in my thinking.
So, what has the last four years brought me since I last wrote in September 2005? Well a lot of peace and a quietness to my life. I am well thought of as a woman by my co-workers, our life as two married women is a bit different than a typical same-sex household or Lesbian household. So now I have joined the countless same-sex households by the swipe of a surgeons scalpel.
Well to start off; I finally started my transitioning as a woman by having Breast Augmentation surgery in March 2006. What started out as an idea, then after a lot of talking and dweling on how my life would be changed forever, we decided that it was time. So after consulting many Plastic surgeons I decided on having my implants performed in Los Gatos, Ca. My implants were twin 720cc Saline sub-pectoral implants, meaning they were surgically inserted under the pectoral muscles on the chest and were inserted through both nipples.
If you think Madonna and her Ice Cream breast cups were interesting, you should try having real implants inserted. After my surgery, I saw that I had two very large bumps on my chest and after the bandages were removed a week later, I had semi-hard breasts on my chest. Not to mention that the post-op phase was a pain in the ass, but eventually as life unfolded my breasts started to mold and look like regular breasts. After about six months, the breasts were very pliable and now two years after my surgery, they are now as normal looking as genetic breasts.
So now what are the differences between mine and regular women? Well for one thing, since I stand as a tall woman and older in years, my breasts were placed a bit lower than many younger women and the size was determined by my physical body. So If you're interested in sizing (males), I am a 42-34-40 or a 42C. Big, but very proportinoed.
After my surgery, life continued to unfold. I started to work outside the house and in a retail environment. I was hired by one of the biggest Box stores (Wal Mart) as a woman and did not find any problems, in fact I kind of blended into the crowd, then I lost my job when I was told I couldn't apply for another position while I was on sick-leave for another little issue with my body.
So for almost a year I was unemployed; but one good thing, I had a Government Pension coming in that helped us out. Meager as it could be, at least I had a monthly check coming in and I had "HEALTH" Insurance, which many people do not have and to this day, it is one of the biggest issues facing us.
As the years went by, another issue came up and that was the final journey I would be taking. We had talked about this and frankly I was not too sure if this was a good idea. I was generally pretty happy with my life, but my wife of 34 years pointed out that there was something missing from my personality. Even though it seemed I was very happy and let me tell you, that being out as a Transgendered individual is one of the best feelings, it wasn't enough. So after thinking of the final solution which would be Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS), we had put off talking about it and decided to let this issue rest.
Another year went by and sometimes I'd talk about this with my wife and we'd look at reasons for why my being partially constructed was fine; but there was that feeling that all was not right. So, in 2007 I happened to attend a conference of Police Officers who were also Transgendered at another conference in San Jose, which is the yearly California Dreamin (CaD) 2007 Transgendered Conference.
After talking to the other women who had gone through this surgery, I finally decided t hat this was what was missing from my life. After returning home I discussed this with my wife and we decided that this is the road I must travel. This road is not easy to travel, it entails a lot more counseling, finding a surgeon either here or abroad (Thailand) and many small but necessary steps. One thing that helped is my therapist was also a Gender Specialist and Sex Therapist and who had seen me grow into this new woman through the years.
Since my life as a partially constructed female was very stable, I had a job, retired, family, I didn't have to go thorugh the regular "RLT" or Real Life Testing needed. I already fulfilled many of those pre-requsites. So I finally decided on going to Thailand for my surgery, which also included Femal Feminization Surgery or FFS.
To make a long story short, I finally had my life-altering and permanent surgery on my birthday in Thailand with Dr. Kamol. On March 10th, 2008 at 11:30pm (Bangkok time), I came out as a finished product. All of my plumbing was changed and a few facial procedures were also performed. So I stayed in Thailand for the required 30 days and on April 5th, 2008 I returned back to the States a fully functioning woman.
During this time from 2007 till 2008, we also had a major crisis at home. My wife rebroke her Hip Replacement and could not work, we suffered a few crisis requiring us to spend more funds than we had anticipated, we also had to deal with botf of our mothers being assigned to a Residential Care home. But with all of this, I finally returned back home and the changes were very different.
My family could now detect a happier person and one that was complete. I also went thorugh the usual depression associated with SRS, but pulled through. We managed from April 2008 till 2009 to muddle through financial difficulty and two divorces (sons). But our family is still whole. We are currently married and now waiting for our two divorced sons to remarry.
I am now thinking of returning back to Thailand to have performed two more surgeries; one is a major revision of my face and a minor surgical repair to my vaginal area. These two surgeries will now enable me to look much more feminine than I am and the other is a surgical repair or revision to rebuild the bottom part. Since there was not enough tissue to work with, my surgeon told me that if I returned back within six to twelve months, I could have a better looking and aesthetically vagina.
I am now thinking seriously about this and even though we have an economic crisis on hand, these two items are not far behind in my thinking.
So, what has the last four years brought me since I last wrote in September 2005? Well a lot of peace and a quietness to my life. I am well thought of as a woman by my co-workers, our life as two married women is a bit different than a typical same-sex household or Lesbian household. So now I have joined the countless same-sex households by the swipe of a surgeons scalpel.
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