Loose Lips do sink ships

I found out that the old World War II term "Lose Lips sink Ships" or in my case "Do" sink ships is not a totally worthless saying. It really applies, and now I'm feeling quite lonely and sad, that my actions have dashed my chance for a short romance.

In my haste to talk to friends about being with someone I wanted to have a relationship with, even for a few hours; my stupidity caused this person irreparable harm in his relationship with a loved one. I never for once thought a casual slip or a phrase would have such a profound effect on how I now currently feel.

Now I will never have that chance to find out what love with a man is like. Since I used to be a male before my transition one year ago, any sex in my younger days was your typical five minutes of ecstasy and then over in a flash. Now as a woman I have that need to be secure with someone. I wanted to have this person to hold me and to validate my urges as a woman.

Because of my stupidity and eagerness to share even if it was changing a few facts, my weekend with this person is now gone and I will probably never broach my feelings to another male, let alone someone who's friends share emails with their spouses.

Is it fair? NO, and even though I am currently married to a wonderful person for the last 34 years, I wanted to experience another side to my sexuality. But now, I am having these pangs of sadness, coupled with thoughts of unease and a sadness that what would have been my chance is now gone forever.

Will I ever go and try my luck again, maybe not. Will I ever broach my feelings to others, probably not. Will I ever have these sexual feelings towards another man? YES.