Its been a long four years

It is now 2009 and a lot has changed snce I last posted my blog on September 2005. Our household has weathered many issues and is now looking forward to what new changes will bring to us.

Well to start off; I finally started my transitioning as a woman by having Breast Augmentation surgery in March 2006. What started out as an idea, then after a lot of talking and dweling on how my life would be changed forever, we decided that it was time. So after consulting many Plastic surgeons I decided on having my implants performed in Los Gatos, Ca. My implants were twin 720cc Saline sub-pectoral implants, meaning they were surgically inserted under the pectoral muscles on the chest and were inserted through both nipples.

If you think Madonna and her Ice Cream breast cups were interesting, you should try having real implants inserted. After my surgery, I saw that I had two very large bumps on my chest and after the bandages were removed a week later, I had semi-hard breasts on my chest. Not to mention that the post-op phase was a pain in the ass, but eventually as life unfolded my breasts started to mold and look like regular breasts. After about six months, the breasts were very pliable and now two years after my surgery, they are now as normal looking as genetic breasts.

So now what are the differences between mine and regular women? Well for one thing, since I stand as a tall woman and older in years, my breasts were placed a bit lower than many younger women and the size was determined by my physical body. So If you're interested in sizing (males), I am a 42-34-40 or a 42C. Big, but very proportinoed.

After my surgery, life continued to unfold. I started to work outside the house and in a retail environment. I was hired by one of the biggest Box stores (Wal Mart) as a woman and did not find any problems, in fact I kind of blended into the crowd, then I lost my job when I was told I couldn't apply for another position while I was on sick-leave for another little issue with my body.

So for almost a year I was unemployed; but one good thing, I had a Government Pension coming in that helped us out. Meager as it could be, at least I had a monthly check coming in and I had "HEALTH" Insurance, which many people do not have and to this day, it is one of the biggest issues facing us.

As the years went by, another issue came up and that was the final journey I would be taking. We had talked about this and frankly I was not too sure if this was a good idea. I was generally pretty happy with my life, but my wife of 34 years pointed out that there was something missing from my personality. Even though it seemed I was very happy and let me tell you, that being out as a Transgendered individual is one of the best feelings, it wasn't enough. So after thinking of the final solution which would be Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS), we had put off talking about it and decided to let this issue rest.

Another year went by and sometimes I'd talk about this with my wife and we'd look at reasons for why my being partially constructed was fine; but there was that feeling that all was not right. So, in 2007 I happened to attend a conference of Police Officers who were also Transgendered at another conference in San Jose, which is the yearly California Dreamin (CaD) 2007 Transgendered Conference.

After talking to the other women who had gone through this surgery, I finally decided t hat this was what was missing from my life. After returning home I discussed this with my wife and we decided that this is the road I must travel. This road is not easy to travel, it entails a lot more counseling, finding a surgeon either here or abroad (Thailand) and many small but necessary steps. One thing that helped is my therapist was also a Gender Specialist and Sex Therapist and who had seen me grow into this new woman through the years.

Since my life as a partially constructed female was very stable, I had a job, retired, family, I didn't have to go thorugh the regular "RLT" or Real Life Testing needed. I already fulfilled many of those pre-requsites. So I finally decided on going to Thailand for my surgery, which also included Femal Feminization Surgery or FFS.

To make a long story short, I finally had my life-altering and permanent surgery on my birthday in Thailand with Dr. Kamol. On March 10th, 2008 at 11:30pm (Bangkok time), I came out as a finished product. All of my plumbing was changed and a few facial procedures were also performed. So I stayed in Thailand for the required 30 days and on April 5th, 2008 I returned back to the States a fully functioning woman.

During this time from 2007 till 2008, we also had a major crisis at home. My wife rebroke her Hip Replacement and could not work, we suffered a few crisis requiring us to spend more funds than we had anticipated, we also had to deal with botf of our mothers being assigned to a Residential Care home. But with all of this, I finally returned back home and the changes were very different.

My family could now detect a happier person and one that was complete. I also went thorugh the usual depression associated with SRS, but pulled through. We managed from April 2008 till 2009 to muddle through financial difficulty and two divorces (sons). But our family is still whole. We are currently married and now waiting for our two divorced sons to remarry.

I am now thinking of returning back to Thailand to have performed two more surgeries; one is a major revision of my face and a minor surgical repair to my vaginal area. These two surgeries will now enable me to look much more feminine than I am and the other is a surgical repair or revision to rebuild the bottom part. Since there was not enough tissue to work with, my surgeon told me that if I returned back within six to twelve months, I could have a better looking and aesthetically vagina.

I am now thinking seriously about this and even though we have an economic crisis on hand, these two items are not far behind in my thinking.

So, what has the last four years brought me since I last wrote in September 2005? Well a lot of peace and a quietness to my life. I am well thought of as a woman by my co-workers, our life as two married women is a bit different than a typical same-sex household or Lesbian household. So now I have joined the countless same-sex households by the swipe of a surgeons scalpel.