Abandoned; but not forgotten....

I feel my life is like an abandoned military base, what once was a stable marriage, is now starting to show the strain of 36 years of change. Oh, it isn't like big chunks are coming off; but small hairline fissures are now starting to appear on the surface.

My wife who I love is now facing the fact that I am continuing to evolve as a woman and I'm now finding that my feelings are now changing. But why now and why not before all of this transition?

Well I think that now I see thing very differently than my wife does. In fact, as that new woman in the house, the love life that we used to share has now been supplanted by the fear of a Lesbian relationship. I know my wife very well; and she's as straight as an arrow and I'm pretty straight too.

It is said that the sex drive of every human being is different and what may be an excess for one, may be slow for another. I find that statement to be rather prophetic in what has happened to me in the last month.

Now, I am that woman who wants to have sex, to enjoy the feelings of another person, to enjoy the feelings and to feel good. However, my wife only wants to stay in the status quo, or keep her life as stable as possible.

Being a Transgendered woman is like going to school. In the beginning as we fumble through our lives looking and searching for what we've become, learning about fashion, make-ups, going to meetings, being out as a woman or what ever female you think you may want to be is likened to being in "Elementary school". It is just learning how you fit into all of this.

But after the surgery, having Breast Augmentation, being on hormones, changing all of your personal identities and now as confident as that woman are you now in the big leagues. It is as though you are now in a University program going for your "Post-Doctural" education.

So getting back to my story. I've now found that I now have that power over men, I now have that power that only the members of a special club can now use and our power is through our legs. I don't see myself being without someone one of these days, maybe I will take that long trip to another foreign country to meet other men. Maybe I'll continue to live here in the US; but under different circumstances. Will I get divorced and move away? Only time will tell.

This is a journey that is still without an end and it is a journey that I gladly walk.